Early Friday morning... And my mind is still set on her.

So many coincidences. So many thoughts. So many ideas.

Step by step, heart by heart, we all fall down, like toy soliders...

I like that song... From 1989, Martika with Toy Soldiers. Sad, though..

I can't really say that I'm sad anymore. I miss her. Maybe that's sadness. Maybe it isn't - I really don't know. I do know I feel like I have to be with her again, because the world just pales away and seems like the same old thing... With her around it's like another dimension, like that one from Star Trek: Generations called "The Nexus," a place of pure happiness and joy, where the world was shaped by your own thoughts. It became what you wanted it to be.

Though that wouldn't happen with her around me... At least I'd be happy again. Perhaps it's the way things are meant to be for right now.

I just know one thing: I love her, more than anything else.

Bit by bit, torn apart, we never win. But the battle wages on, for toy soldiers...

So people wonder about the things I write here, about who it is that I care about, and who it is that I'm referring to by "Jovian Knight." That's all well and good, curiosity is a great trait to have, but don't expect me to answer you with anything that explains it.

Who I care about, frankly, no one can know about because her existence cannot be acknowledged to those who are incapable of understanding who she is and what my relationship is to her. If you're meat to know, you know. It's simple.

Who the "Jovian Knight" is? That would be myself. I write about myself, yes, because this is my personal area to write things. Thus I do that. Jovian, if you're wondering, is another word for Jupiter, a planet I happen to be fascinated with. The Moon is second on the list. Why do I refer to myself as such? Once again, if you're meant to know, you know why. If you aren't meant to know, well, you don't know - I probably won't ever tell you why. The day will come when you understand, though.

Am I deliberately being mystical and trying to make you seem like you really know nothing about me? Well, no. Not really. The truth of the matter is that there will be only a few people who understand who I really am, why I am like I am, and see me for who I am. No one else. If that sounds upsetting or something to you, put your mind at ease - there are things in life that you really don't want to know.