Skies Above

My random thoughts, ideas, and just me.

Friday, October 17, 2003

Even though he's an older man now, and isn't all that popular, Bruce Hornsby creates(ed) some beautiful music.

The Way It Is and Mandolin Rain are my all-time favorites. Mandolin Rain, even more so, because of its emotional piano and Bruce's vocals.

Listen to the mandolin rain, listen to the music on the lake
Ah listen to my heart break, everytime she runs away
Listen to the banjo wind, sad song drifting low
Listen to the tears roll, down my face as she turns to go


Reminds me of what my life was like before I found her again... I kept falling into love with people who didn't care, or weren't capable of caring in return. I kept fooling myself into believing I had a chance, getting my hopes up only to have them crushed again, and again, and again...

Runnin' down by the lake shore
she didn't know the sound of a summer storm
Played on the lake like a mandolin
Now it's washing her away, once again...whoa again

Boats steaming in, oh watch the side wheels spin
And I think about her when, I hear that whistle blow
I can't change my mind, oh I knew all the time
That she'd go, but that's a choice I made long ago


It happened for all of 12 years... I fell in love early and that broke apart. I fell in love again, a year after that, before saying I'd never do it again. That fell apart, too, before it ever got off the ground.

Then I met Angela. Ahh, how I let myself be played like a fiddle... After two years of waiting for her to see if we would ever be together, I ended up finding out that her mother wanted to put a restraining order on me... And she hated me, which I found out shortly thereafter. I remember being in class, just crying, a puddle of salty water on my desk from all the tears. I'm sure people were staring. I didn't care. After class, I got up and walked out without a word.

Then I met someone who shall remain nameless... And once again, my hopes were crushed for a year's time. Partly my fault, partly her fault. Never been that depressed before in my life. I nearly stabbed myself three times in the year that I call a daze, because I barely remember anything of it.

Then I met Kerri... But we didn't last long together. She had to work too much and I couldn't devote my time to someone that busy, sadly to say. We're still friends. Same with Krystle.

Then I met Lynne after searching high and low, for most of my life she's been the person I know I was looking for. I have been a stern believer in the "star-crossed lovers" notion because of what I believe in, and because of who I am. Finding her again was no mere coincidence.

Listen to the mandolin rain, listen to the music on the lake
Ah listen to my heart break, everytime she runs away
Listen to the banjo wind, sad song drifting low
Listen to the tears roll, down my face as she turns to go
as she turns to go......listen to listen to the mandolin rain
Listen to the tears roll, down my face as she turns to go
Listen to the tears roll, down my face as she turns to go
Listen to the mandolin rain.


I think I'll do what Bruce says and listen to the mandolin rain. After all, Lynne and I both love the rain. Nothing better than sharing your life with someone you were meant to be with. I could almost end this with "happily ever after" and close the weblog, leaving this as the last testament of who I am and where I went to in life.

But I won't do that. I still have a story to tell and I still have things to do.

Listen to the mandolin rain...

Wednesday, October 15, 2003

Fuck fuck fuck shit shit fuck cock damn bastard fuck shit shit shit FUCK FUCK

WHY AM I UP AT 3:55 AM DOING GODDAMN GAME LEVELS???

AAAAARRRRRGHhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!11

sleep.

Sunday, October 12, 2003

I could swear that my life was exactly like Tool's Schism just a month ago...

"I know the pieces fit, because I saw them fall away, mildewed and smouldering, fundamental differing..."

I know the pieces fit, because they've came together again.